Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
First, I want to thank the Big Guy who runs this site for letting me be a guest reviewer. (No problem, thanks for helping me out while I've been otherwise detained.)
As the film began I commented to one of my associates that I would rather have seen a live woman's chest. Upon further review, having seen a lot of questionable looking women(?) over the weekend, I think “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” was okay too.
In figuring out if this is the film for you, the real question you have to ask yourself is "Do I like foppish, yet ratty, looking pirate captains?"
If the pirate captain in question is Johnny Depp and you are an American, then the answer is "Well, I like it better than sticking my dick in a pie. A whole lot better!"
In any case, this film pretty much picks up where the original left off. Keira Knightley is hot. Johnny Depp and Orlando (what a name for a Disney Movie) Bloom are gallivanting about in the newest items from the International Male catalog.
So no matter how you swing, there are (at least) two reasons to see this film.
I don't know a lot about acting, so I can't really comment on it.
(Without seeing the film, I want to give props to Bill Nighy who plays Davy Jones in the film. The scenes I’ve seen online make him look amazing and I am always pleased with his performances. I’m willing to bet he rocks in this film. Now on with the review …)
I like Johnny Depp's character, and think he personifies what an actor is supposed to be, since until now he never played the same character twice, and always brings something new to each project he undertakes. I have no doubt a lot of what makes Jack Sparrow interesting was the work of Depp.
Orlando Bloom is pretty much the same English-accent eye-candy he is in any movie. Next.
Keira Knightly … Well, she is easy on the eyes, although some people thought she was easier in the first one, I really have no complaints. If she wants to eat crackers in bed I wouldn't care.
The story was impressive, and actually did a nice job of taking a number of elements from the first film and transitioning them into a much broader story, so much so that I am looking forward to the third installment of the series.
Using the imbedded rating system here I would give the movie 3 shots of rum or whatever the equivalent a 3 out of 5 is. Nothing about the film wowed me, it was standard summer blockbuster fare. In fact, I liked the Kraken from “Clash of the Titans” better.
Friggin’ Perseus.
-- This review brought to you by PowerSurgeon.
As the film began I commented to one of my associates that I would rather have seen a live woman's chest. Upon further review, having seen a lot of questionable looking women(?) over the weekend, I think “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” was okay too.
In figuring out if this is the film for you, the real question you have to ask yourself is "Do I like foppish, yet ratty, looking pirate captains?"
If the pirate captain in question is Johnny Depp and you are an American, then the answer is "Well, I like it better than sticking my dick in a pie. A whole lot better!"
In any case, this film pretty much picks up where the original left off. Keira Knightley is hot. Johnny Depp and Orlando (what a name for a Disney Movie) Bloom are gallivanting about in the newest items from the International Male catalog.
So no matter how you swing, there are (at least) two reasons to see this film.
I don't know a lot about acting, so I can't really comment on it.
(Without seeing the film, I want to give props to Bill Nighy who plays Davy Jones in the film. The scenes I’ve seen online make him look amazing and I am always pleased with his performances. I’m willing to bet he rocks in this film. Now on with the review …)
I like Johnny Depp's character, and think he personifies what an actor is supposed to be, since until now he never played the same character twice, and always brings something new to each project he undertakes. I have no doubt a lot of what makes Jack Sparrow interesting was the work of Depp.
Orlando Bloom is pretty much the same English-accent eye-candy he is in any movie. Next.
Keira Knightly … Well, she is easy on the eyes, although some people thought she was easier in the first one, I really have no complaints. If she wants to eat crackers in bed I wouldn't care.
The story was impressive, and actually did a nice job of taking a number of elements from the first film and transitioning them into a much broader story, so much so that I am looking forward to the third installment of the series.
Using the imbedded rating system here I would give the movie 3 shots of rum or whatever the equivalent a 3 out of 5 is. Nothing about the film wowed me, it was standard summer blockbuster fare. In fact, I liked the Kraken from “Clash of the Titans” better.
Friggin’ Perseus.
-- This review brought to you by PowerSurgeon.
posted by Upgrayedd at 8/01/2006 01:11:00 PM
10 Comments:
This review is WAAAAAAAAYYYYY off.
Especially the part about Keira Knightly. When did she become a man?
Ditto on the Kracken comment.
After seeing it the second time (with said reviewer), I would venture to say that the first one was better. The second is not a flop by any stretch, but I thought that the love triangle in this movie made little sense. Sure, KK's character loves adventure and blah blah blah, but she's supposed to be marrying Will Turner(OB). I guess that doesn't matter much on a Disney ride. This is a popcorn flick, but not a cookie cutter one. It leads you into the third movie without leaving you totally hanging.
Oh, and BTW, it should really be 3 pints of grog, not 3 shots of rum....or at least 3 bottles of rum. Pirates don't shoot rum....only dead monkeys.
Wow, it's so hard to tell inflection when it comes to the written word.
I can't tell if you just want to bust his hump or if in the 7 years since we graduated college, you've forgotten what a shot of liquor is.
I'm leaning on the former ... but married life can have a profound effect on people so I won't rule anything out. :)
So I finally got to this one and I'm not going to bother writing up a review. My co-hort PowerSurgeon pretty much summed it all up.
I was entertained but not enthralled.
Bill Nighy kicks ass.
Keira Knightley was better in this film, though she wears too many clothes for my taste.
Orlando Bloom is so freakin' lucky he was cast in the LOR trilogy.
Johnny Depp is as smooth as the other side of the pillow.
Still, I would have like a little more resolution to the film even though I know there's a third one coming real soon. The cliffhanger almost felt like "The Matrix: Reloaded". Though nothing really is that bad.
I agree that "POC: Dead Man's Chest" deserves a 3 out of 5.
If you liked the first one, you'll like this one. If not, then you won't. Simple as that.
To clarify - I don't consider a shot of rum to be a true shot - as rum is pretty easy to drink. To me, a shot of rum is like a shot of baileys, or pucker. Rum is usually either drunk mixed, or by the bottle - as the Pirates do. If you offered to do a shot of rum with Johnny Depp, he might accept, but then you'd wake up in the morning in bed with the Libertine.......and a horse.
Do I cuddle with the Libertine or the horse?
More like straddlin' than cuddlin'.
Do you have a preference?
sicko.
I guess the Libertine ... the horse doesn't do as good a job of bladder control.
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