The Break-Up
Good God Fuck Why!
I thought this movie would be bad but I had no idea it would be this bad.
This was two hours (Yes, TWO HOURS) of watching why Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston should not be together.
Am I missing something? I thought this was supposed to be a comedy! I’m not going to bother with specifics, nothing was spectacular or worth retelling. I just have five points to make:
1) It was like a train wreck; only at least more positive things happen in train wrecks.
2) When looking at past recipients of the bag of hammers award, I almost feel sorry for them. Bring me “The Dukes of Hazard”! PLEASE let me watch it again!
3) I think we should be showing this movie in lieu of torture to extract information from terrorists.
4) The movie just kept sucking and sucking … like that hooker you keep throwing nickels at just to hear the thud of the coin against her skull.
5) There are concentration camp survivors who would say, “Damn, at least we didn’t have to watch this!”
“The Break-Up” gets a 0 out of 5. The bag of hammers is being awarded again and it’s because of films like this that I’m thinking of adding spikes to the hammers.
I thought this movie would be bad but I had no idea it would be this bad.
This was two hours (Yes, TWO HOURS) of watching why Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston should not be together.
Am I missing something? I thought this was supposed to be a comedy! I’m not going to bother with specifics, nothing was spectacular or worth retelling. I just have five points to make:
1) It was like a train wreck; only at least more positive things happen in train wrecks.
2) When looking at past recipients of the bag of hammers award, I almost feel sorry for them. Bring me “The Dukes of Hazard”! PLEASE let me watch it again!
3) I think we should be showing this movie in lieu of torture to extract information from terrorists.
4) The movie just kept sucking and sucking … like that hooker you keep throwing nickels at just to hear the thud of the coin against her skull.
5) There are concentration camp survivors who would say, “Damn, at least we didn’t have to watch this!”
“The Break-Up” gets a 0 out of 5. The bag of hammers is being awarded again and it’s because of films like this that I’m thinking of adding spikes to the hammers.
posted by Upgrayedd at 6/13/2006 11:42:00 PM
8 Comments:
MMMMMmmm...yeah, I think I'm going to go ahead and disagree with you there.
Ian, seriously, the movie was not nearly as bad as you make it. I saw it this weekend and was actually pleasantly surprised that it didn't suck. It's definitely a higher quality flick than Dukes.
I think you were just having a bad day and took it out on Vinnifer, that's all. If you ignore the fact that these two are allegedly an 'item' in real life, it becomes less annoying.
***SPOILER ALERT***
Besides, I was pleasantly surprised that thin(ner) Vince Vaughn actually showed up at the end. He looked like crap all the way through the movie, I almost wanted to donate my liver to him or something....
Was it Oscar worthy? No, but it isn't Razzy worthy either. It's no Gigli. For a Matinee on a Sunday, it did its job. I thought whoever made the movie (I haven't looked it up, did Favreau direct?) did a good job with some of the subtle nuances and conflicts that can pop up in a relationship. The ending was one of three possible endings you could have had - so that's a toss up. As far as casting goes, I think Joey Lauren Adams played her least annoying role to date, Aniston was better than she has been, and Vaugh was passable. I liked Favreau's Sox fan character - especially the part in the beginning when he is laughing at the Cubs losing - it reminded me of me and my brother. (And I'm the Cubs fan). They did a good job with featuring Chicago - and I think even including real people that worked at the different landmarks - without Doing the hokey (DEEP DISH, SASSSAGE, WE'RE REALLY IN TORONTO) routine. They stayed faithful to Chicago - at the risk of alienating everyone else in the country with inside references.
I'd give it a B-
Hey, I love when people have different opinions. That's cool.
But I'm sticking to my guns. This was supposedly going to be a comedy but it was like watching two people who weren't right for each other struggle to save what should never have been.
And it was directed by Peyton Reed who did the fun "Bring It On" and the dreaful "Down with Love". This only makes him higher on my shit list.
I literally wanted to walk out 5 minutes in and was actually pounding my fist against my head for about the last half hour as I was praying each of the multiple endings would stick, the credits would roll, and I could leave the theater.
And as for the Chicago landmarks, why did they have to keep showing the same shot of the Sears Tower?
And why did they have to show the exterior shots of the bar and the gallery EACH TIME they went there?
Crap, I'm exerting WAY too much energy on this film. I never really ask for my money back (since I go for free) but if I had paid, I would have been raising hell with the manager to get my money back on this one.
This is one of those cases where we'll just have to agree to disagree but this was possibly the least enjoyable movie I have seen in the last few years.
Seriously, couldn't I have just watched Deuce Bigalow: European Gigalo on DVD instead?
That's funny, I happened to catch DB:EG on cable last night, and almost threw up watching it. What a piece of horseshit. Agree to disagree. I would rather watch The Break-Up 500 times in a row than watch any one scene of DB:EG again. I also saw National Lampoon's: Dorm Daze on cable last night too. It reminds me of why I don't purchase pay channels (I'm on free Starz preview right now ;) )
Word
So my hypothesis that Jennifer Aniston is a seriously overrated actress is one step closer to being proven true. Putting her name on a film is like putting Steven Segals name on a filmL you are gonna be watching crap. At least Segal has Busey though.
When Jennifer puts out a blues album, then the parallel between her and Segal will be complete!
They actually did some filming for this movie outside where I work, and actually set up some kind of base camp in the NBC Building. In an embarrassing sidenote one day VV's stunt double or something was walking by. A bunch of women thought it was him and were catcalling him. PIGS!!!
Post a Comment
<< Home