Reviewing On A Jet Plane
As I spent approximately 60 hours inside a plane traversing the Pacific Ocean 4 times between late October and the end of November, I had a lot of time to enjoy the in-flight entertainment. As no stewardesses were succumbing to my wit and animal magnetism, I had to make do with the movies being replayed throughout the flight.
Thankfully these days on international flights, you get to choose from about 6 to 8 films each 2 and a ½ hour cycle and, of course more importantly, the drinks are free.
So without too much further ado, here are some snapshot reviews of films I didn’t see earlier this year …
RED EYE
“Red Eye” has one of the most misleading trailers I’ve ever seen. Even after finding out in reviews this is a suspense/thriller and not a horror film, I still avoided it until I was trapped in coach 35,000 feet up. All that being said, I liked this film. Director Wes Craven returns to good form with a fairly tight thriller that keeps the tension high and action moving. Rachel McAdams is a hottie and has the ability to seem both vulnerable and tough which is vital to this role. The bad guy is played well enough by Cillian Murphy. This is probably because he’s a creepy guy. Mark my words, he may be the next Christopher Walken. Every time Murphy tries to be charming, I get a cold tingle up my spine … and not the good kind. A 3 out of 5.
MADAGASCAR
The cute and furry tale of zoo animals who escape to the world’s second largest island (not counting continents and following Greenland), “Madagascar” won’t do much for the tourism industry … or the film industry for that matter. With such talent as Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, Jada Pinkett Smith, Cedric the Entertainer, Andy Richter, David Schwimmer and Sacha Baron Cohen (better known as Ali G), how could this film have sucked? Of course, if you really looked at those names, it’s not exactly the crème de la crème. I’m sure little kids enjoyed this romp but adults should not waste their time. The story is simple, the characters are hackneyed and the jokes don’t really qualify as jokes. Avoid this one like malaria … which you could catch if you went to Madagascar … so it’s a double entendre … oh never mind. Just don’t see this. A 2 out of 5.
THE LONGEST YARD
Another film which boasts the talents of Chris Rock. Only this time, it’s a remake that should never have been made of a classic 1974 film. Adam Sandler brings us this dull retread and steps into the shoes of Burt Reynolds who is relegated to a supporting role this time around. The classic tale of alcoholic NFL quarterback forced to lead a team of inmates against the steroid abusing team of guards, “The Longest Yard” is really the The Longest Snore. I did stay awake for this on the flight, but that’s because it was the first film I tried … this made me feel as dumb as the film. A 1 out of 5.
THE BAD NEWS BEARS (2005)
In another remake of a classic film, “Bad News Bears” sees Academy Award winner Billy Bob Thornton try to fill the jock strap of Walter Matthau. Fellow Academy Award nominee Greg Kinnear and Academy Award winner Marcia Gay Harden fill out the adult roles in the updated version of talent-less brats pulling together as one big misfit little league team. I really wanted to hate this, I hold the original near and dear to my heart. However, this wasn’t too bad. They stuck to the formula that works and it was actually kind of fun to see Thornton’s take on the alcoholic ex-ball player turned estranged father and coach. Worth a look see if it hits your movie channels … you don’t want to lose the profanity on a cable version. Half the fun is hearing kids swear. A 3 out of 5.
LITTLE FISH
Last but not least in this bite-sized version of movie reviews is the Australian film “Little Fish” . This hasn’t made it to the states yet but if and when it does, this is a must see. Cate Blanchett, Sam Neill, Hugo Weaving and Noni Hazlehurst star in a film that’s basically about drugs and crime in a little town just outside of Sydney. That’s a super oversimplification but needless to say, with a cast like that, it would be hard to screw it up. I didn’t enjoy the film as much as I could have with airplane headphones on, so I will be re-watching this either on video or screen depending on how it makes its way across the Pacific. It ended up being nominated for just about every Australian film award and won a few of them as well. If you like dark, gritty dramas filled with gutsy performances, this is a good one. A 4 out of 5 from me.
I also watched to following either in parts or their entirety, depending on my estimation of their worth, to pass the time though they were all reviewed previously:
Must Love Dogs
Batman Begins
The Dukes of Hazard
War of the Worlds (2005)
Fantastic Four
The Island
Mr.& Mrs. Smith
Charlie & The Chocolate Factory
Wedding Crashers
Needless to say, I got some screen time in on these flights. At least I'm done with those flights for a little while now and may I recommend the chicken?
Thankfully these days on international flights, you get to choose from about 6 to 8 films each 2 and a ½ hour cycle and, of course more importantly, the drinks are free.
So without too much further ado, here are some snapshot reviews of films I didn’t see earlier this year …
RED EYE
“Red Eye” has one of the most misleading trailers I’ve ever seen. Even after finding out in reviews this is a suspense/thriller and not a horror film, I still avoided it until I was trapped in coach 35,000 feet up. All that being said, I liked this film. Director Wes Craven returns to good form with a fairly tight thriller that keeps the tension high and action moving. Rachel McAdams is a hottie and has the ability to seem both vulnerable and tough which is vital to this role. The bad guy is played well enough by Cillian Murphy. This is probably because he’s a creepy guy. Mark my words, he may be the next Christopher Walken. Every time Murphy tries to be charming, I get a cold tingle up my spine … and not the good kind. A 3 out of 5.
MADAGASCAR
The cute and furry tale of zoo animals who escape to the world’s second largest island (not counting continents and following Greenland), “Madagascar” won’t do much for the tourism industry … or the film industry for that matter. With such talent as Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, Jada Pinkett Smith, Cedric the Entertainer, Andy Richter, David Schwimmer and Sacha Baron Cohen (better known as Ali G), how could this film have sucked? Of course, if you really looked at those names, it’s not exactly the crème de la crème. I’m sure little kids enjoyed this romp but adults should not waste their time. The story is simple, the characters are hackneyed and the jokes don’t really qualify as jokes. Avoid this one like malaria … which you could catch if you went to Madagascar … so it’s a double entendre … oh never mind. Just don’t see this. A 2 out of 5.
THE LONGEST YARD
Another film which boasts the talents of Chris Rock. Only this time, it’s a remake that should never have been made of a classic 1974 film. Adam Sandler brings us this dull retread and steps into the shoes of Burt Reynolds who is relegated to a supporting role this time around. The classic tale of alcoholic NFL quarterback forced to lead a team of inmates against the steroid abusing team of guards, “The Longest Yard” is really the The Longest Snore. I did stay awake for this on the flight, but that’s because it was the first film I tried … this made me feel as dumb as the film. A 1 out of 5.
THE BAD NEWS BEARS (2005)
In another remake of a classic film, “Bad News Bears” sees Academy Award winner Billy Bob Thornton try to fill the jock strap of Walter Matthau. Fellow Academy Award nominee Greg Kinnear and Academy Award winner Marcia Gay Harden fill out the adult roles in the updated version of talent-less brats pulling together as one big misfit little league team. I really wanted to hate this, I hold the original near and dear to my heart. However, this wasn’t too bad. They stuck to the formula that works and it was actually kind of fun to see Thornton’s take on the alcoholic ex-ball player turned estranged father and coach. Worth a look see if it hits your movie channels … you don’t want to lose the profanity on a cable version. Half the fun is hearing kids swear. A 3 out of 5.
LITTLE FISH
Last but not least in this bite-sized version of movie reviews is the Australian film “Little Fish” . This hasn’t made it to the states yet but if and when it does, this is a must see. Cate Blanchett, Sam Neill, Hugo Weaving and Noni Hazlehurst star in a film that’s basically about drugs and crime in a little town just outside of Sydney. That’s a super oversimplification but needless to say, with a cast like that, it would be hard to screw it up. I didn’t enjoy the film as much as I could have with airplane headphones on, so I will be re-watching this either on video or screen depending on how it makes its way across the Pacific. It ended up being nominated for just about every Australian film award and won a few of them as well. If you like dark, gritty dramas filled with gutsy performances, this is a good one. A 4 out of 5 from me.
I also watched to following either in parts or their entirety, depending on my estimation of their worth, to pass the time though they were all reviewed previously:
Must Love Dogs
Batman Begins
The Dukes of Hazard
War of the Worlds (2005)
Fantastic Four
The Island
Mr.& Mrs. Smith
Charlie & The Chocolate Factory
Wedding Crashers
Needless to say, I got some screen time in on these flights. At least I'm done with those flights for a little while now and may I recommend the chicken?
posted by Upgrayedd at 11/29/2005 11:58:00 AM
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